Vive la Celine!

I can't believe I've never seen this video before - so Passionate! So Dramatic! So... Over the Top!

Eh, so what. I love drama.

Enjoy.

Happiness is Psychoanalysis

This morning's topic: Weddings, Engagement, et al.

Since I became engaged, it hasn't all been bliss and budding roses. The first words out of my mouth when DSF presented me with the ring and proposal were, "It's so pretty!" but that wasn't the whole story. I was critical of the ring, even though I was quick to accept and put it on my finger. I felt happy that such a kind man would want to marry me but ...

(MAKE SURE YOU HAVE HEADPHONES ON IF YOU WATCH THIS AT WORK.)

Other things along the way have given me pause and made me question what the hell is going on here. Marriage? Me? Child of multiple times divorced parents? Me, who hates working full-time but doesn't really want to groom herself to be a stay-at-home mom either? Me, who, at this moment would rather hop on a plane to anywhere, just because that's what I like to do, rather than pick out curtain colors for my living room? Oh and by the way, I don't even feel guilty about not wanting to be a homebody - so now how are they going to keep me down if I don't even feel guilty??? Huh??!!

And what the hell is marriage anyway? I felt like an outsider to marriage. Could someone like me, from a "broken home" really be successful at this? I hate to stay in once place, physically even, so how could I stay in a marriage? The slightest things make me feel like a caged animal so... you get the point.

And what about all the other nuts in my life? I have something like five parents depending on your interpretation. It took me until this weekend to realize I will never have healthy normal relationships with them. If I can't do that, how can I have a marriage?

But I beat a dead horse. Clearly, I have doubts, issues, baggage, etc etc etc.

So, where is all of this going?

Well, for once I feel like some resolution is coming my way. Some answers even. An open discussion at the very least. Engagement and all of the things f'd up things that come with it like a sense of loss, fear, anger and confusion are ... dare I say... NORMAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YES! ME! I JUST MIGHT BE ... NORMAL!!!!

Where did I get hold of such scandalous information? Well, friends. Ah thank God himself for friends. Lord knows my family hasn't stepped up to help in this discussion.

"The Conscious Bride" is a book I haven't yet read but a mere hour or so reading articles on the website, consciousweddings.com has already addressed a number of emotions I've been feeling FOR A YEAR. How can something this obvious have escaped me for so long?

One of the ways the site breaks down all of these issues is to talk about the core group of people involved in the wedding and the emotional transition that each of them has to go through during the marriage process: Bride, Groom and their respective Mothers.

Here are a few of my favorite excerpts:

For the Mother of the Bride:
Furthermore, becoming conscious means that you recognize that not only is the wedding clearly a rite of passage for the bride, but it is also a rite of passage for the mother of bride. A daughter's wedding is often a time when the mother faces her own mortality and realizes that she is moving into the next phase of life. Jungian psychoanalyst Marion Woodman talks about the three phases of a woman's life: maiden, mother, elder. When a woman marries, she is letting go of her identity of maiden and moving toward mother. When a daughter marries, her mother is letting go of her identity of mother and moving toward the next identity. How do these statements resonate for you? Are you aware that you may be moving into a new phase of life? What feelings does this elicit?

For the Mother of the Groom:
The truth is that embedded in this great joy of human life there is also an element of loss. Your son has found a woman with whom he feels called to share the partnership of marriage. He has found a woman who meets his heart's desires and challenges him to reach his potential as a man. Even if the reasons are not readily apparent to you (and they can easily become clouded by your own feelings), the fact remains that your son is making the choice to marry. And with this choice comes the realization that there is another woman in his life that will assume number one priority. On some level, your son is separating from you so that he can transfer his allegiance onto his wife. On some level, he is saying goodbye. And, on some level, you are feeling this pain and sense of loss around this separation.

For the Bride:
Which brings me to my second point: beware of the tendency to focus your anxious energy on your fiancé. Oh, how easy it is to make your fiancé the target of all of your uncomfortable feelings. After all, he¹s the reason why you¹re in this predicament (engaged) to be begin with! When you find yourself focusing most of your negative thoughts on your partner, you know that he¹s become the target, the projection screen, for your own grief and fear. Again, take a moment to step back, name what¹s happening ­ "I¹m projecting onto my fiancé again" ­ and pull out your journal, call a friend, or write a post ­ anything to pull the energy off of your partner and onto yourself.

For the Bride:
A rite of passage also involves fear. For many women, the sadness about leaving a singlehood identity is dwarfed by the fear of marriage and commitment. Questions circle their mind like plane waiting to land. Questions like: What does it means to be married? What in the world is a wife these days? What if my husband cheats on me? What if I cheat on him? What if it doesn't work out and we divorce? But these fears have no place to land because our culture does not encourage women to feel fear before their wedding? So what happens? The fear is suppressed, she distracts through the planning, and she finds herself spinning into anxiety a few days before, or on, her wedding day. She doesn't know that fear is a normal and necessary part of her transition. How could she not feel terrified when she's stepping into the unknown?


I still have quite a bit more reading to do. There is, however, a sense of relief starting to spread over those strange internal brews I've been experiencing alone and in reaction to others, who themselves, have been transitioning through their own emotions. I've had about fifty zillion AHA moments in just a few short pages.... No wonder this process is so painful - everybody is experiencing a different loss at the same time.

Ahhh sweet relief and a calm belly......... well, until the next transition anyway...

Marcel DuChamp: Le Passage de la Vierge à la Mariée

Life, it's all about managing the transitions...

Cat

Cranky Pants McGoo or Glass Half Empty Day

I'm cranky today. :(

Still obsessed with Te Lo Agradezco (below) - just spent the last hour pouring over each syllable to perfect pronounciation/timing/lyrics, etc... Type A anyone? I just can't tolerate loving a song and not being able to sing each part of every word.

Anywhooo, I'm totally not feeling Halloween. At All. I was so into my costume last year but this year.............. can't even pretend I care. Not wanting to join in the Outslut The Next Slut Costume Game (a.k.a. Pick A Theme, Make It Slutty And BAM! You've Got A Female Costume) thought about us dressing up as Night and Day ... felt much I like I should've graduated from an all girls college to come up with that one. DSF wasn't exactly into that one, though not as opposed to the Spice Girls costume idea I had floated for him. Another one I thought of for myself was to carry a garden hoe with a 99 cent tag - voila Cheap Hoe without all the ass-freezing, fishnets and high-heels for a body that should probably be a little more demurely dressed... I nixed busting out my past years' costumes again (Wonder Woman and 80's Madonna... is there something going on with me that slutty was Oh so fab for me in the past but now... not so much?)

None of these seemed to happened though. And now even buying an insta-costume means fighting crowds for a place that I wrote a review for... the line is down the street :(

Ohhhhh what to do. My problems are sooooo important. Pooooor me.......

Ugh, my phone is buzzing, probably someone who wants me to get into the Halloween spirit. Maybe I should go as a bubonic, puss covered, bloodsucking zombie.

Alejandro Sanz

I know this song isn't particularly new but I just loooooooove it... and perhaps Alejandro too ;)

I've posted the lyrics below in both Spanish and English.

Lyrics

Te Lo Agradezco, Pero No

Acércate que a lo mejor
no te das cuenta que mi amor
no es para siempre
porque hay noches que se apagan cuando duermes
díselo a tu corazón
no habrá mas fuente de dolor
no digas que no pienso en ti
no hago otra cosa que pensar
acércate un poco más
no tengas miedo a la verdad

que hay cuando llegue la mañana y salga el sol
tú volverás a mi lado y gano yo
y ahora vete, vete, vete, vete
vete y pásatelo bien, por nosotros dos

no, corazón

te lo agradezco pero no
te lo agradezco mira niña pero no
yo ya logré dejarte aparte
no hago otra cosa que olvidarte
te lo agradezco pero no
te lo agradezco mira niña pero no
te lo agradezco corazón

pero no, tú sabes bien que
Acércate un poco más
no ves que el tiempo se nos va
da rienda suelta a lo que sientes
si no lo haces mala suerte
porque al final, si no lo ves
puede que no me escuches, pero lo diré
que hay, cuando salga el sol y llegue la mañana
yo volveré a tu lado, a tu lado con más ganas

y ahora, vete, vete, vete, vete

vete y pásatelo bien, por los dos

te lo agradezco pero no
te lo agradezco mira niña pero no
yo ya logré dejarte aparte
no hago otra cosa que olvidarte
te lo agradezco pero no
te lo agradezco mira niña pero no
yo ya logré dejarte aparte
no hago otra cosa que olvidarte

tengo conciencia del daño que te hice
pero al mismo tiempo no me siento responsable
de lo que pudiste pensar que fue coraje
no fue nada más que el miedo, miedo

te lo agradezco pero no
te lo agradezco mira niña pero no
yo ya logré dejarte aparte
no hago otra cosa que olvidarte
te lo agradezco pero no
te lo agradezco mira niña pero no
yo ya logré dejarte aparte
no hago otra cosa que olvidarte

no hago otra cosa que olvidarte corazón
por la mañana temprano y luego en las tarde, en la noche

cuando estoy en el vacilón,
no puedo na más que olvidarte, corazón
te lo agradezco
te lo agradezco pero no
te lo agradezco mira niña pero no
yo ya logré dejarte aparte
no hago otra cosa que olvidarte

te lo agradezco pero no
ya te he dejado aparte
ahora ya no necesito más de ti
yo ya logré dejarte aparte
ya estoy así estoy bien corazón no me vale
que me vengas así llorando, una vez más

te lo agradezco
tus ojos lindos, tu cuerpo bello,
lo siento niña pero no
al lado mío siempre corazón,
cuando salga el sol, yo no estaré ahí,
ahora vete, vete, vete al vacilón.



Translated
(a bit rough but the best I could find ...)

Thank You, But No

Come close, that maybe
You don't realize my love
Is not forever
'Cause some nights shut down while you sleep.
Tell your heart
There will be no more sources of pain
Don't say I don't think about you
I don't do anything but thinking
Come a little closer
Don't be afraid of the truth

Ay, and when the morning comes and the sun rises
You'll come back to my side
And then I won't...
And now go, go, go, go
Go away and have a good time
For the both of us

No, baby
Thank you, but no
Look, little girl, thank you, but no
I've already left you aside
I don't do anything but forgetting you

Thank you, but no
Look, little girl, thank you, but no
(Thank you honey, but no, you know it's no)

Come a little closer
Don't you see the time is escaping from us
Unchain what you feel
If you don't, too bad
'Cause in the end, if you don't see it
It's possible that you don't listen to me
But I will say...

That 'ay', when the sun rises and the morning comes
I'll come back to your side, to your side
With more desire
And now go, go, go, go
Go away and have a good time
For the both of us

Thank you, but no
Look, little boy, thank you, but no
I've already left you aside
I don't do anything but forgetting you

Thank you, but no
Look, little boy, thank you, but no
I've already left you aside
I don't do anything but forgetting you

I am aware
Of how I've hurt you
But at the same time I don't feel responsible
For what you could think was courage
Was just fear

Thank you, but no
Look, little boy, thank you, but no
I've already left you aside
I don't do anything but forgetting you

Thank you, but no
Look, little boy, thank you, but no
I've already left you aside
I don't do anything but forgetting you..

Disturbing: Body Burden

Okay, it's not disturbing that body burden testing is being conducted, but the results of such testing are disturbing. Body burden is the amount of a harmful substance that is present in a person's body.

I heard about this issue for the first time today through a report on CNN.com. I'm sure many people will be disturbed by it. The first thing I thought was, "Okay, what health implications are there for me, my future (yet to be conceived) children and my partner?" With autism and other ailments in children reaching staggering rates, I'm particularly interested in avoiding assaults to my biology that could be passed on to my children.

I tried to find places where I might be able to get such testing completed. Unfortunately, it appears this is a general impossibility short of seeking out physicians conducting research on the matter.

My next thought turned to the things I have in my home. Plastic containers, pots & pans, cleaners, cosmetics, etc etc etc. Poking around on the web resulted in some interesting finds. This tool, Skin Deep's Cosmetic Safety Database let's you search by the cosmetics you have to find out what kind of chemicals they contain. Sadly, I found that the product line I've been using for at least 10 years, Clinique, received a generally mediocre to poor score. I learned about this Campaign for Safe Cosmetics and was very disappointed to find that, even though the Compact has been signed by 600 companies, Estee Lauder (manufacturer of Clinique) has not signed the Compact. The compact can be signed by companies who meet or exceed current EU formulation standards. "Why EU standards," I asked? "What of US standards?" Well, my assumption here is that the US standards are lower. (Still working on the proof for that assumption but this reminds of me of another one of my favorite topics, the myth of the American Dream. How is it that this is still perpetuated by the way?).

Apparently, in 2003, the European Union passed an amendment prohibiting the use of carcinogens, mutagens and reproductive toxins from cosmetics. Signatories of the Compact "pledge not to use chemicals that are known or strongly suspected of causing cancer, mutation or birth defects in their products and to implement substitution plans that replace hazardous materials with safer alternatives in every market they serve." Who hasn't signed? OPI, Avon, Estee Lauder, L'Oreal, Revlon, Proctor & Gamble and Unilever.

I did discover that the Body Shop scored alright on these charts and that they signed the Compact in 2004. Serendipitously they are located a few short blocks from my apartment. Looks like I'll be ditching my beloved Clinique Stay Ivory oil-free formula in favor something a little more face friendly.

Now, about the rest of the toxins in my environment ...

More reading:
Oct 11, 2007 Boston Globe: Lead tests raise red flag for lipsticks

International Baby Day

It was only a matter of time until I started posting baby videos...

Here are some global babies.

Karaoke Baby




Hollywood Baby

This one starts a little slow but gets better a the song goes on... :)




Metro Baby




Pious Baby




Jolly Baby




Brainy Baby

Alcoholic Blogger Dork

Yes, that would be me. Okay, I'm not really an alcoholic but somewhere in the infinite wisdom I possess, I found it justifiable to split two bottles of wine with my former roommate last night. Effectively each drinking our own bottle.

Today has been a relative disaster. Unable to rouse myself to any passable state before 2pm, I had to cancel a hair appointment. I don't even want to go into all of the gory details of what was taking place during the time I was supposed to be getting pampered by my French stylist, Francis. ("frawn cease" for those of you who care). Suffice it to say, I only managed to be at peace with three small pieces of tofu and a quarter cup of Sprite. This modicum of success came only after I was forced to implement a tofu eating strategy. I cut small slices and ate one, slowly. Then, I set my microwave timer for ten minutes. Once a full ten minutes passed with relative calm, I gave myself permission to pursue further consumption. Like this, I managed to take 30 minutes to eat three very thin slices of tofu.

You know you're a dork when after getting sloshed on wine in a chic bar, all you want is to tell people about your blog. Ouch. That is a cold harsh reality. I was surprised to be so... committed but then again, what I love about blogging is how much you get to talk about yourself so maybe this is not so inconsistent after all.

The alcoholic part comes in the form of pissing off DSF rather profusely by insisting I speak to all passersby on the way home and ask them the all important question, "Do you think the Sox will win or lose tomorrow?" Now, I know I have a problem when I don't give a rats ass about sports and I need to talk to cab drivers and whomever else to get to the bottom of this question. The results of the survey were in favor of a loss. I'm thinking this is because people assumed I was a fan (who else but a Red Sox fan could be capable of such jackassedness right? I mean, it was a Wednesday night...). Put out by my insistence they answer the question in some fashion their answer necessitated falling on the side of whatever answer would be negative in my eyes. Maybe. Or maybe they really thought the Sox would lose.

So, though I had the brilliance to combat the nausea with Dramamine, I'm feeling rather dull now (don't you think it's ironic that the word drama is embedded in that name - like, it actually says, "Drama, mine." My drama. How fittingly ironic. What a cruel joke. Eh... I deserve it). By now you're probably thinking DSF is a saint, and you know what? I'm pretty sure he is. He even has the same birthday as Pope John Paul. Put that in your all knowing pipe and smoke it bitches.

Good Shite from Across the Pond

Inneresting conflict at the crux of law, technology, and jurisdiction : US & France

Universal Challenges the Legality of Deezer, a Free Streaming Website

"Universal Music has denounced as illegal the use by Deezer, a free on-demand streaming website, of songs from its music catalogue and has asked for their removal from the website. Although Deezer had recently been launched after reaching a deal on royalty payments with a French collecting society representing music artists ..." more


I love Deezer and hope they live.

This Post is for You

This article is fabulous. "Being Multilingual becoming more essential" - Boston Globe, 10.17.07

I dedicate this photo to all the people who have scoffed at me over the past ten years, and to those who still do, for majoring in a language in college and for studying abroad. I also dedicate this photo to all of the xenophobic colleagues I've had the pleasure of working with in the past. Specifically to the one who said they "hate it when people come this country and they can't speak English," knowing full well that is the case with members of my immediate family.
F off.



(sadly the Blogger photo upload function isn't working at the moment... )

Whoa.... this is too much: Microsoft Surface

Very cool very cool very cool technology that I want to have right now!!!

Tool for Egocentric Travelers

I love this nifty tool from Trip Advisor. You can pinpoint all the locations you've been to on a map and then sit back and tell yourself how astute and fabulous you are for having traveled to them. It is also a great self help tool for the times when you've got wanderlust but can't get a fix.

In case you are wondering how astute and fabulous I am... which I know you are... see below :)

Have to point out the obvious here. When my glass is half full, I see all the places I've been. When it's half empty, I see all the ones to which I haven't been... Africa? South America? Far East? :( :( :(

Important Things to Know: Smoots

If you've ever traversed the Mass Ave bridge and wondered what the hell all those paintings on the sidewalk meant, then this post is for you.

Here is an explanation worth reading:

Smoots

Side splittingly funny

Ha ha... cannot speak... must watch...