Top Ten Ways To Know You're Dating/Married To A Consultant

• Referred to the first month of your relationship as a "diagnostic period". 
  
• Talks to the waiter about process flow when dinner arrives late. 
  
• Takes a half day at the office because, "Sunday is your day." 
  
• Congratulates your parents for successful value creation. 
  
• Tries to call room service from the bedroom. 
  
• Ends any argument by saying, "let's talk about this off-line." 
  
• Celebrates anniversary by conducting a performance review. 
  
• Can't be trusted with the car-too accustomed to beating up rentals. 
  
• Valentine's Day card has bullet points. 
  
• Refers to lovemaking as a "win-win".