Thursday, May 21, 2009

Dazed and Confused

But not high... unfortunately.

Sometimes in life you stand, looking out at the future and asking yourself, what the hell am I going to do now?

They say blogging about work is wrong. Blah (insert photo of my middle finger).

My job. Started in September 2008. I took a risk to do new sales for a start-up. Hadn't worked in the industry before. Only one other person in the office. 3 months in she quit. I start running everything - HR, client service, operations, marketing, sales, etc etc etc - with a mind to the potential for financial and personal upside. Simultaneously, the economy doesn't just stop growing, but actually starts shrinking. We make a rash hiring decision I don't agree with. 3 weeks later I have to fire that rash hiring decision - based on my stubbornness not to make the same decision twice, we get a great person the second-time around. I train him - it is now mid-April - I've been busting my ass non-stop alone in an office and grown a little potbelly as evidence of such - our 3 biggest clients start pulling in the reins and stop sending us business - our sales shrink by more than 50% - not because of our performance but due to lack of demand from their clients.

I am blamed and find out through an email that was accidentally forwarded to me that someone from our overseas HQ is coming over on a recon mission and also to find a replacement for me. I go to the US based partner to confirm that this is happening - basically he doesn't agree with the European partner that this should take place. Great. No one knows what the hell is going on. No one is making any hard and fast decisions. He says - I dunno - maybe in a month I will be gone?

What do I do? The end of my tenure doesn't seem to be a forgone conclusion. There is still potential for growth and I think sales from our clients will grow soon. But, when one of the partners doesn't want you there anymore, they can make your life hell. There is the other small issue of my own morale at this point.

Do I:
a. stay, coast and let them fire me.
b. dig in and fight to grow the business and keep this job.
c. take control and quit immediately or decide an end date?

a. Easy, but demoralizing.
b. Hard. Uncertain. Potentially really good, really bad or in the middle both emotionally and professionally.
c. Healthy. The only problem is that I have to decide what to do next.


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