Thursday, August 28, 2008

Throwing a wedding sucks balls

I find that men are sexist by omission and women by commission when it comes to this whole bridal industry.


Dresses. What kind of bullshit is this? I went to a bridal salon/evening gown place and those sons of bitches wouldn't tell me the name of the designer of the dress I was trying on. The dress retailed in the thousands - I was there because there was a sample sale - and these bitches wouldn't tell me the designer. What kind of asshole spends thousands of dollars on a product for which they don't know the maker?

These a-holes wanted me to fill out a card about myself that said all kinds of important things like - what was my mother's name and contact information? What was the date of my wedding? Did I hear about them because I'm registered on The Knot.com? Well FUCK YOU WEDDING INDUSTRY MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!! I HATE HOW CHEATING AND SEXIST YOU ARE!!!  YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I AM A DUMB BRAINLESS ASSHOLE THAT HAS NO CONCEPT OF THE VALUE OF MONEY. 

DID I MENTION FUCK YOU? NO I AM NOT DOING A BOUQUET TOSS THAT WILL HUMILIATE THE SINGLE WOMEN AT THE WEDDING. NO I AM NOT LETTING SOME MOTHERFUCKER PUT A GARTER ON MY LEG AND I AM NOT WEARING WHITE BECAUSE - NEWSFLASH - I'M THIRTY FUCKING YEARS OLD AND I AM NOT A VIRGIN!!! I AM NOT REGISTERING BECAUSE I ALREADY HAVE 5 FUCKING COFFEEMAKERS AND I AM NOT GIVING OUT BATSHIT CRAZY STUPID OVERPRICED WEDDING FAVORS JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT ME TO.

FUCK THE WEDDING INDUSTRY AND EVERYONE WHO WORKS IN IT. YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES.

1 comment:

Queen Been said...

Word. Fucking weddings. I'm planning a wedding too and just trying to look through those damn bridal magazines had me in a fit. Stick to a simple plan - like you're throwing a fun party and you just happen to be exchanging vows at the same time :)