Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Travel Deal

Okay, I think I need a 12 step program to hep me cope with my travel addiction. My fiancé asked if I wouldn't mind respecting one small rule, that is to pay off the last trip before we go on another one.

What!!! You mean put practicality before a trip??? I dunno... sounds so... mature. Not sure if I can commit to that. [Yes, I hear your collective groan.]

The truth is that in order to save face and prevent him from thinking, "She is completely out her mind! By what cruel twist of fate did I get myself into this - this woman is going to make me penniless and yet I'm not sure I can find the strength to quit her... " Yes, in order to prevent things from going down that ugly path I agreed and, because I value my relationship, I actually agreed with just a small squirm of discomfort, instead of the out and out knock down, drag out fight that I fantasize about from time to time. That style of fight would be justified in my warped mind by the old "it's no good keeping things bottled up, gotta get 'em off your chest" philosophy, which I would of course manipulate to my advantage as a further justification of taking it from a simple expression of emotion to a dramatic display of defiance against those thousand injustices which one must defend themselves in this heartless and chaotic world.

Wooo. All this was inspired by that damn Travelzoo email I get every Wednesday at 11 am tempting me with the latest and greatest in Travel. Tempting me with its evil, cost conscious ways. Deceiving me, seducing me... "Come little one," the newsletter says, "Come and fulfill your heart's desires! It's time for another voyage my pretty!! And your little
fiancé, too!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! You are mine!!! Alll mine!!! AHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

No STOP! Leave me you evil witch of air travel!! Leave me you disgusting vulture of culture!! I can't -- I must fight your wiley ways! I must be strong! By the power of my skull I will not let you in - you vicious temptress of low fares and airline wars!!

And then... at last, there are the first signs of peace. I begin to breathe calmly, slowly. I look back through my digital camera, trip receipts and restaurant cards. I check my frequent flyer points again. It was real. I did travel, maybe even multiple times. I check my bank account. Oh yes, I took a trip. With the undeniable truth of my luggage tags and half unpacked suitcase staring at me from across the room, I regain a sense of a purpose. It was all real and it can happen again. I WILL GO on another trip!!!

Now ... back to that business plan ...


Maurica said...





You have the POWER!


God, you're hysterical...and, I think I found my Halloween costume. Evil Witch of Air Travel! Perhaps a totally deranged flight (pregnant) attendant? Thanks, Claud!

Anonymous said...

1'11 g3+ (_) /\/\y |>r3++y!

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. said...

wow, I have a stomach ache from trying to get that one - now I'm scared!